


i just need the time and place to come through

by dldld



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Sexual Harassment, chanbaek if you squint, inspired by location by khalid, just to be safe with the tags, trigger warning, unwanted sexual attention/move in a party, xiusoo cameo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-09-26 09:44:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17139482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dldld/pseuds/dldld
Summary: Kyungsoo got royally dumped but at least there’s Jongin who’s teaching him how to operate with no strings attached. It’s been going well, until Jongin catches feelings that is.





	i just need the time and place to come through

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the Song for You Fic Fest for prompt #191, which was about a friends with benefits!au inspired by Khalid's "Location". Here are the key lyrics for the prompt:
> 
> "At times I wonder why I fool with you  
> But this is new to me, this is new to you  
> Initially, I didn't wanna fall for you  
> Gather my attention it was all for you, so don't  
> Take advantage, don't leave my heart damaged"
> 
> Unbeta-ed so all errors are mine. To everyone who's giving this fic a chance, I hope you enjoy reading it! *bites nails*

**August 17, 2018, Friday  
11:40 PM**

Humidity has bid goodbye, and so has summer. It might not be officially fall yet, but Jongin is already feeling the first stirrings of the season. The soft breeze has started making its presence known, a welcome respite after the sticky and suffocating heat. However, while seasons change, some things do not, like how Jongin is still holed up in dance studios practicing until late at night.

Walking towards the student housing near the campus, Jongin tries to enjoy the night air. He hasn’t walked leisurely in a while so he takes his time, even looking up at the sky to look at stars that he can’t see because Seoul likes to hide them with light and smoke.

Jongin isn’t sure if he’s entirely welcome to this party he’s going to but Sehun said everyone's welcome and Jongin, after this particularly grueling dance practice, just craves to hang out with his friends. Truthfully, he'd much rather eat dinner, go to a sauna, and play _baduk_ . But his friends are all in this Kyungsoo's heartbreak party, to supposedly celebrate the guy's break-up and imminent freedom. Jongin doesn't understand the big deal, probably because he doesn't know the guy and he doesn't exactly get into relationships. For the exact same reason as exhibited by this ridiculous party: feelings are complicated, stupid, and tricky. _Who even celebrates getting dumped?_

He doesn’t appreciate going up flights of stairs when his legs feel leaden from fatigue. While he’s always heard about Kyungsoo from his friends, it’s the first time he’s going to meet the guy. Jongin finds it funny that he has never met him, funny in that sad way because it probably means he doesn’t have much of a life.

He knocks on the apartment door with the number Sehun texted a while ago, already hearing a preview of the noise inside. He quickly checks if his zip is shut and if his hair is in place, realizing that it’s already close to midnight and he looks like a booty call coming up now. Short chuckles escape from his lips, _now that’s something familiar for me_ . A few moments after his rhythmic knocks on the door, a man he doesn’t know opens the door. _Is this Kyungsoo?_

“Hi, and you are?” the man by the door asks Jongin. Jongin gears up to answer, starting to roll his eyes because it looks like Sehun didn’t even inform whoever this is that someone else is coming when a rowdy and loud Sehun stops him right there.

“Jongin! Kyungsoo hyung, that’s Jongin. Jongin, come in come in and watch Baekhyun hyung try and chug the King’s Cup!” Sehun excitedly says, practically dragging him inside the house while Kyungsoo moves aside.

Jongin didn’t have the time to introduce himself to Kyungsoo because Sehun sits him right on the front row of the commotion. Everyone looks wasted but that’s expected since the party supposedly started at dinnertime and they also just finished playing King’s Cup, with Baekhyun as the loser. He tries to move far away from Baekhyun, afraid that the other will sputter the disgusting concoction in the glass he’s holding.

Too late because Sehun kept him down on his seat right as Baekhyun choked on his punishment and he saw this coming and now he’s seeing it happening; Baekhyun has spitted out whatever deadly combination of alcohol he was tasked to chug. On him. His shirt is wet but more irritatingly, his face too, and no one is helping him at all; they’re all too busy laughing their asses off.

“That’s your punishment for being late!” Chanyeol guffaws, deep voice bellowing in the room.

Jongin sees some paper towels being shoved to him and he immediately wipes his face first so he can finally start strangling Baekhyun. He dabs on his shirt too and right when he’s about to lunge for any of his friends, who are all still drunkenly laughing, Kyungsoo speaks. It takes a moment for Jongin to realize that he’s talking to him.

“Jongin-ssi, would you like to take a shower or maybe even just change clothes?” Kyungsoo, who apparently was the one who gave him the paper towels, offers.

Jongin’s plan to hit his friends goes forgotten when he faces Kyungsoo, eyes all wide and adorable. But as he stares at the man who’s waiting for his reply, he suddenly feels like it’d be rude to say no, and he does want to freshen up. So against his original plan of coming for his friends, he nods his head in acceptance. “Sure.”

Jongin follows Kyungsoo to his room, leaving the noisy living room where their friends started playing Mario Kart. Kyungsoo’s room is neat, and not the kind of neat that emerges only when you know you’ll have visitors. “I haven’t even introduced myself to you. Kim Jongin, nice to meet you and happy break-up, I guess?” Jongin cheekily adds as he bows a little.

Kyungsoo finishes rummaging for clothes that might fit Jongin, facing the other man to introduce himself. “Do Kyungsoo. Thanks, I guess?” Kyungsoo answers back with his own bow.

“Here are some clothes you can change into. I hope they fit you but if they end up like a crop top, I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo snorts a little at the mental image as he hands out his clothes. “There are extra towels on the cabinet under the sink. Feel free to use the toiletries,” Kyungsoo informs Jongin.

“Thanks, I really appreciate it,” Jongin answers.

Jongin marvels at Kyungsoo’s hospitality but apparently it doesn’t end there. “Wait, have you had dinner yet?” Kyungsoo turns around right when he’s by the door of the room.

“I haven’t, actually. But it’s okay! I’ll just eat some chips after my shower,” Jongin rushes out the words, not wanting to hassle the other male furthermore, even if he’s actually hungry.

“It’s almost midnight and yet you haven’t had dinner and you came from practice, right? Sehun told us,” Kyungsoo indignantly says. “There are leftover lasagna from earlier. Is that okay? I know it’s carbs and so much cheese. I can cook some stir-fry though if you’d prefer that?” Kyungsoo asks, hesitance obvious in his voice.

By now, Jongin is too amazed at how kindly he’s being treated, a practical stranger, by this man who’s supposedly mad at the world for being royally dumped by his ex-boyfriend. He knows lasagna is just too sinful for a dancer like him but he can’t make Kyungsoo cook another dish just for him so he assures the other that lasagna is okay. “No, please, just heat the leftover lasagna for me?” Jongin answers.

“Okay, sure. Just head on out to the kitchen when you’re done, Jongin-ssi,” Kyungsoo leaves with a smile.

***

 

**August 18, 2018, Friday  
12:05 AM**

Jongin goes out of the room after his shower, surprised that no one is in the living room. He follows the smell of lasagna, the noise that accompanies his friends getting louder as he nears the kitchen. He then sees his friends fighting for the last slice of lasagna. _That must be delicious for them to fight over for._

“They smelled it while I was heating it so they asked me to heat some up for them too. But here’s yours. I was afraid they’ll eat it all,” Kyungsoo then sends a glare to their friends. “Heathens,” Kyungsoo mutters. Chanyeol hears it and ruffles Kyungsoo’s hair.

“Jongin, help out our Kyungsoo here. He wants to try and sex his way out of his heartbreak and who could be a better mentor than you, Mr. I-Don’t-Catch-Feelings,” Jongdae quips, making Jongin think how apt his cheshire smile is for such a dubious suggestion.

“Jongdae, sometimes, you do have the best ideas. Yes! Kyungsoo can’t suddenly operate with no strings attached. That is so unlike him. He needs guidance and most importantly, a wingman,” Baekhyun agrees, words almost indecipherable around a mouthful of the gooey cheese and bechamel sauce.

“We need a Yoda for this young padawan and you, Jongin, will be Kyungsoo’s Yoda,” Chanyeol announces, voice too loud as if proclaiming a royal appointment.

“Stop calling me Yoda, Chanyeol hyung. If there’s a Yoda in here, it’d be you, you have the same ears,” Jongin snickers as he eats the lasagna. He stops himself from moaning but it really is good and he wonders if Kyungsoo made it.

“But you’re not against teaching him your ways, Jongin? You didn’t exactly say no…” Sehun intones.

Jongin admits to himself that Jongdae’s proposition is interesting. It’s not like adding wingman duties on a night out will prevent him from getting laid. It would also be nice to have company while he’s prowling, since most of his friends are already taken. “Do you really want that, Kyungsoo-ssi? I mean, I’m fine with it, but are you?” Jongin looks at the other male, who’s been quiet and unreadable while their friends basically plan his sex life.

“I did tell them that maybe having casual sex will help me move on. I just didn’t think a plan would come. Well, I do think I need a mentor so yes? And if we’re doing this, then please just call me hyung, no need for formalities,” Kyungsoo answers, giving Jongin a small, warm smile.

“Then stop talking formally to me too, hyung,” Jongin retorts, throwing in a wink towards Kyungsoo.

“You smarmy fool,” Sehun hits Jongin’s head as everyone cringes and makes fun of Jongin.

***

 

**August 22, 2018, Wednesday  
8:50 PM**

**nini88  
**r u free on friday

 **prr12  
**Yes?

 **nini88  
** ok lesson 1  
ill be ur wingman  
we gonna get u a man

 **prr12  
** Okay?  
What should I wear?

 **nini88  
** ill drop by early and help u  
see ya

***

 

**August 24, 2018, Friday  
10:42 PM**

Jongin and Kyungsoo are climbing up the stairs towards Kyungsoo’s door, the older with his shoulders hunched. It’s a Friday night and they’re already going home even before restaurants flip their closed sign.

“I’m sorry. You didn’t have to leave that guy you were hitting on. I could have went home by myself. Sorry for being a bad student,” Kyungsoo mutters, feeling bad for ending the night early. It was just all too much for his first time trying to pick someone up. He met his ex in one of his group projects during freshman year, and his ex was the one who approached him. Kyungsoo wasn’t familiar with the chase because he liked to believe that him getting to know and falling in love with his ex was an organic process, something inevitable.

Before Jongin could placate him and tell him that it’s okay, Kyungsoo rushes out, “And thank you for getting me out of there. I know I was supposed to be flirty but I wasn’t prepared to be groped at first sight.” Kyungsoo pouted and Jongin would have found it cute if not for what Kyungsoo just said sinking in on his alcohol-addled brain.

“Wait, he groped you? Are you okay?” Jongin instantly looks worriedly at Kyungsoo, whiplash be damned. Jongin didn’t know that that was the case. When he got a text from Kyungsoo informing him that the older was planning on going home already, he thought Kyungsoo was just not feeling good or maybe was not ready yet to pick up strangers in a bar. He didn’t know that Kyungsoo was harassed.

“He was being overly touchy and it made me uncomfortable. I tried to move his hands away but he just kept on doing it. Sorry for being a prude, I’ll try to be prepared next time,” Kyungsoo says but Jongin shushes him.

“No, you’re not going to be prepared next time because him groping you without consent was wrong,” Jongin makes eye contact with Kyungsoo as he says this, willing it to be instilled in the other male’s mind. “You don’t have to force yourself to accept being harassed just to get laid. That was harassment and that guy was an asshole. Why didn’t you tell me? I could have decked the guy,” Jongin is fuming.

“It’s okay, I fled to the bathroom as soon as I could. Please don’t be mad. Sorry I ruined your night and that I’m no good at this and that you didn’t get laid,” Kyungsoo voices out, sincerity and guilt overflowing as they reached his door.

“Nah, it’s okay, I’m not mad. I’m your wingman, right? Besides, who says I’m not gonna get laid tonight?” Jongin smirks and Kyungsoo files that look as something dangerous.

“Oh, okay, thanks for getting me home, Jongin. Go back to the bar and find yourself a warm body now,” Kyungsoo shoos Jongin away, keying in the passcode and opening the door to his flat.

“Or, we could just hook up. Win-win, right?” Jongin quips, eyes still sparkling with mischief as he places himself by the doorway.

“What? Are you drunk?” Kyungsoo is bewildered but he laughs it off as he removes his shoes by the doorway.

Jongin starts to go inside Kyungsoo’s flat too, removing his shoes while working his way on convincing Kyungsoo to agree with his idea.

“I’m not and I said what I said, let’s have sex,” Jongin reiterates, placing his boots besides Kyungsoo’s sneakers before silently walking towards the couch in his sock-clad feet.

Kyungsoo stands tongue-tied as he watches the other male feel comfortable in his apartment, sitting on his sofa as if they’ve been friends for so long. Kyungsoo follows his guest inside his flat, sitting on the opposite end of the couch from where Jongin is.

Kyungsoo faces Jongin and clumsily explains, “Uhm, I’m not sure if that’s a good idea… We might not be that close yet but I already consider you a friend and sex with friends…” Kyungsoo more or less stutters, willing the words out. He clears his throat after, in an effort to pierce the silence that follows.

Jongin, ever patient, starts making his case. “Haven’t you heard of friends with benefits? It’s nothing, Kyungsoo hyung. We’ll both get sex tonight. We’ll still be friends. No one’s gonna catch feelings because I don’t do that and you’re still hung up on your ex.” Jongin sounds like it’s no big deal and Kyungsoo’s conviction is wavering.

“Why do you always sound so convincing? How can you logic your way into everything you want?” Kyungsoo shies away from Jongin’s stare and looks down at the floor, getting embarrassed at how quickly Jongin bent his will.

“So is that a yes?” Jongin asks, slowly moving towards Kyungsoo on the couch, eyes searching for an answer to his question.

“Okay, okay, sure,” Kyungsoo says as he finally meets Jongin’s stare. Reading the yes in Kyungsoo’s eyes, Jongin takes it as permission for him to close the distance. The centimeters between their knees. The millimeters between their lips. Soft lips press on even softer ones and Jongin does a victory dance in his head when Kyungsoo finally opens up.

The kiss is slow and tentative; Jongin is taking his time, treating Kyungsoo as if he’s a wild animal that would run away at the slightest twitch, at the slightest change. When Jongin feels like Kyungsoo is finally getting into it, he hesitatingly pulls away, ego beefed up by the mewl of protest coming out of Kyungsoo’s lips. Eyes dancing and waiting for Kyungsoo’s to open, Jongin feels the air. Kyungsoo might have reciprocated but he wants to give him the chance to stop it or take it all back.

Kyungsoo finally opens his eyes, slowly closing his mouth. He licks his lips as if he just tasted something good and with eyes solely on Jongin, he raises his feet onto the couch and moves to kneel, straddling Jongin’s body underneath him. He initiates the kiss this time, and Jongin lets out a relieved breath that turns into an appreciative sound as his hands start roaming on Kyungsoo’s back. Hands landing on his prize, Jongin starts to knead Kyungsoo’s ass, the older immediately sitting down on Jongin’s lap as their crotches graze each other with the friction provided by their clothes.

Jongin moves his hands forward to Kyungsoo’s jeans and as he accidentally brushes off his hands on Kyungsoo’s stomach, the other male suddenly stops the kiss and moves away, standing up in front of him. Jongin is confused but mostly disappointed. _Was I too fast? Is he backing out now?_

Kyungsoo’s eyes start focusing again and he pulls Jongin up, Jongin’s eyes still fraught with questions. “Let’s take it to the bedroom. I don’t wanna see the couch and remember me having sex on it, okay. Besides, it’s easier to change sheets than clean upholstery,” Kyungsoo explains.

Jongin lets out a laugh, poking Kyungsoo’s side. “I can’t believe you stopped that hot makeout because you’re a neatfreak,” tickling Kyungsoo all the way to his room.

“Shut up, Yoda,” Kyungsoo chuckles as he plants his ass on the edge of his bed.

“Now, where were we?” Jongin stalks towards Kyungsoo on the bed, his eyes full of wicked intent.

***

 

**September 1, 2018, Saturday  
12:14 PM**

 

 **nini88  
** how was it  
did u go home with him

 **prr12  
** Yeah, I did  
I think I’m getting the hang of this hook-up culture

 **nini88  
** see  
its easy right  
u dont even hv to invest anything  
just try and hv a good time

 **prr12  
** You’re right  
I’ve been missing out on a lot  
My boyfriend didn’t even like having sex  
Well, didn’t like having sex with me  
Since he was obviously having sex with other people

 **nini88  
** ur ex cheated on u?!?!?!  
i didnt know dat  
but why didnt u guys had sex a lot  
u r a good lay hyung

 **prr12  
** I think that’s why I wasn’t comfortable  
With hooking up  
I thought I was bad in bed  
But now that I know it wasn’t me  
I feel more confident now  
Thanks, Jongin  
For teaching this young padawan the ways

 **nini88  
** shut up im not yoda  
glad u got laid

 **prr12  
**It’s because I have a great teacher

 **nini88  
** but i barely played wingman last night  
dat was all u  
u charmed dat guy off  
who wouldnt be tho  
look at u

 **prr12  
** Stop it  
You don’t have to compliment me  
Building my self-esteem  
Is not part of the curriculum

 **nini88  
** i know i dont hv to  
just stating facts

 **prr12  
** Anyway, wanna hang out?  
I was supposed to watch a movie with Sehun  
But he cancelled on me  
Baek and Yeol aren’t free too  
And I can’t get a hold of Dae

 **nini88  
** u make it sound lyk im ur last resort  
but sure y not  
send me the address

***

 

**September 15, 2018, Saturday  
9:18 AM**

**nini88  
** hyung lets hang out  
where r u

 **prr12  
** Okay, Jongin, sure  
What do you wanna do?

 **nini88**  
i wanted to marathon narcos  
do u wanna netflix and chill

 **prr12  
** …  
So you want to have sex… again?

 **nini88  
** im not gonna say i dont wanna have sex again  
coz i do  
but i rly do want to watch narcos  
im free the whole day  
r u busy

 **prr12  
** No actually  
I was just planning on watching Netflix too  
With my flatmate

 **nini88  
**u hv a housemate?!?!

 **prr12  
**Why would I live in a two-bedroom if I didn’t have one?

 **nini88  
**but ive never seen him!

 **prr12  
** He was in an internship in China the past summer  
He’s now back in Korea  
Oh yeah, you aren’t in the group chat  
Probably why you aren’t familiar with Yixing hyung

 **nini88  
** theres a group chat?!  
whos in it?  
y am i not in it?!?!!!

 **prr12  
** Well, I only got to know you last month  
And you don’t even know Yixing hyung yet  
So why are you surprised

 **nini88  
** i just feel left out  
add me hyung?  
please  
pleaaaaaaaseeeee

 **prr12  
** Okay okay  
I’ll add you once you meet Yixing hyung later  
Stop whining  
I can hear you

***

Jongin drops by Kyungsoo’s apartment before lunch, as instructed. Truthfully, Jongin doesn’t know why he’s not looking forward to meeting Kyungsoo’s housemate. It’s stupid to feel disappointed that he doesn’t know the most basic things about Kyungsoo, when they just met a month ago. But he feels it, that telltale jealousy whenever Sehun hangs out with friends he doesn’t know. He just feels left out, as if he’s not living in the same orbit as his friends. Jongin doesn’t have the time to wallow in self-pity though as the door opens in front of him and he’s faced with a stranger.

“Hi, you must be Jongin?” A guy with the softest eyes greets him. Jongin’s tongue gets caught in his mouth as he looks at Kyungsoo’s roommate. All he gets out is a sharp nod and the other guy ushers him in. “Come in, Kyungsoo’s almost done cooking, you’re right on time.”

“I’m Yixing and it’s nice to meet you,” Yixing says as he fixes a gentle smile towards Jongin.

“Nice to meet you too, I’m Jongin. Welcome back to Korea?” Jongin sends a smile to Yixing, and he mentally curses himself why he’s being awkward when he’s never like this with anyone. _Is it because I almost had sex with Kyungsoo on the couch where he's getting his phone from right now?_

Yixing finds his phone and pockets it, then proceeds to walk towards the kitchen. “Let’s go to the kitchen, you should see what Kyungsoo has prepared.”

Jongin catches Kyungsoo removing a pot from the stove and placing it on top of a trivet, which brings his vision onto the huge spread of side dishes on the table. There are around twenty or even more side dishes placed around the main dish, which he now sees in _haemultang_ after Kyungsoo removes the lid.

“Hey, Jongin, you’re here. You’re right on time, I just finished cooking, let’s eat now,” Kyungsoo tells Jongin, sitting on one of the chairs and gesturing for him to do the same.

“What’s with the feast, hyung?” Jongin asks Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo immediately looks at Yixing.

“It's to welcome back Yixing hyung! He hasn't eaten my cooking in three months so of course I had to prepare a feast.” It doesn’t escape Jongin how Kyungsoo sent a soft smile on the other, lips forming a heart shape.

“And I told him he shouldn't have prepared so much. I would have been happy with your lasagna, Kyungsoo,” Yixing chides Kyungsoo but he still looks so fond and thankful for the younger.

“But I just cooked that last month, hyung. I'll cook it again for you on your birthday, don't worry,” Kyungsoo assures Yixing and proceeds to pick up his chopsticks.

“Wait, you cooked the lasagna on your break-up party?” Jongin asks Kyungsoo, surprise in his voice. He wondered back then if Kyungsoo cooked it but forgot to ask about it, question buried once he started eating it, practically forgetting his name.

“Wait, Jongin was there during your break-up party? I'm sorry I wasn't there, Kyungsoo,” Yixing says with a pout, moving to hug Kyungsoo and laying his head on the other’s shoulder. Kyungsoo moves away from Yixing to shake off the hug.

Kyungsoo looks at Jongin when he answers his question, “Jongin, yeah, I did.” Then he looks at Yixing to placate the other, “Hyung, it's fine, Baek just lost King's Cup and sputtered his drink on Jongin here. And then we played Mario Kart.”

“And then Jongin decided to teach you how to fuck around?” Yixing smirks and raises an eyebrow when he meets Kyungsoo’s eyes.

Jongin is thankful that they haven’t started eating because he would have choked upon hearing Yixing casually describe what they’ve been doing. “You know about that, Yixing sunbaenim?”

“Please, just call me hyung, Jongin. I'm sure I'll see you around. And yes, Kyungsoo told me about it. Thank you for being there for him and I’m glad Kyungsoo has a new friend. He rarely opens up to new people and—”

“Come on, let's eat. I know I cooked this for you hyung but I'm hungry too,” Kyungsoo smiles at both Jongin and Yixing, but it was all too obvious that Kyungsoo wanted Yixing to shut up, even raising an eyebrow as if to threaten the other. Jongin surmises that Kyungsoo isn’t comfortable being exposed like that, which isn’t surprising since Kyungsoo doesn’t really advertise everything he thinks and feels. Jongin then proceeds to sample some of the _haemultang_ Kyungsoo cooked and it took him a lot of effort to use his words and not just let out sounds of appreciation.

“Hyung, this is so good. I didn't even know that heavenly lasagna was made by you too. Can you feed me forever?” Jongin says, complete with puppy eyes, which both Kyungsoo and Yixing laugh at.

“Sure, Jongin. I'll feed you as long as you're here,” Kyungsoo says as he ruffles Jongin’s hair. Jongin usually huffs at that but right now, he doesn’t even bother moving Kyungsoo’s hands away, already trying out the different side dishes in front of him.

“Then I should just come over all the time then,” Jongin answers, eyes crinkling — not sure if it’s because of the delicious food he’s inhaling or because of the same crinkling eyes directed at him. Kyungsoo thinks it’s so fulfilling to cook for his friends who all love his cooking

“Please do, Jongin. I can't eat them all,” Yixing tells Jongin, right before he dives into the _haemultang_.

All the awkwardness Jongin felt earlier seemed to vanish as the three of them ate and talked. The conversation was flowing and the company comforting. They only stopped talking when they realized they actually ate everything Kyungsoo prepared, to which the latter doesn’t let them forget how they complained earlier that there was just too many food.

After lunch, Jongin volunteers to wash the dishes, while Kyungsoo packs up the leftovers for refrigerating. Yixing fixes the TV in the living room, preparing for their Narcos marathon.

***

 

**September 16, 2018, Sunday  
12:38 AM**

They get through the first season in one sitting, forsaking dinner for bowls of popcorn and nachos for Kyungsoo. Jongin really wanted to see _Narcos_ but he couldn’t stop himself from looking at Kyungsoo from the corner of his eyes, trying to see the body language between the roommates. Jongin convinces himself that he’s just making sure that he’s not getting in between the two if ever there is something between them, because even though losing a fuck buddy in Kyungsoo would be inconvenient, he’d rather Kyungsoo find someone else to be in an actual relationship with. _Sure, that’s just it, me being considerate_.

Jongin was the one who wanted to see _Narcos_ but Kyungsoo ended up being more invested in the show than him. Kyungsoo reaches for the remote control to start the second season when Yixing rises from the couch and stretches.

“Alright kids, this old man needs to sleep already. As much as I want to continue the second season of _Narcos_ , my bed is calling my name. Good night, Kyungsoo,” says Yixing as he ruffles the other’s hair. To Jongin’s surprise, Kyungsoo doesn’t hit the hand messing his hair, doesn’t even move away from Yixing. Yixing nods at Jongin before he walks away and enters his own room.

“Good night too, hyung. Thanks for hanging out,” Kyungsoo replies. Jongin watches the interaction carefully, waiting until the older has retired to his room before he faces Kyungsoo.

“So, you and Yixing hyung…” Jongin starts, wishing that Kyungsoo picks up the thread of his thought right away.

“What about it?” Kyungsoo asks. Jongin thinks there’s no choice but to be direct then.

“Are you two fucking?” asks Jongin, careful to sound as uninterested and unaffected as possible. _Lest Kyungsoo thinks I’m jealous_.

“What the fuck, Jongin? That's unthinkable!” exclaims Kyungsoo, voice and face both incredulous.

Jongin clocks Kyungsoo’s surprise but still asks, “Why not, hyung? He’s cute.”

“Yixing hyung is like my brother. I'm getting hives with just the image of what you said,” Kyungsoo answers, even shaking his body as if to get rid of the image Jongin put forth.

“Really? But you two are so close,” Jongin still won’t let it go, not convinced yet. _Maybe the one for Kyungsoo has been close all along._

“Because we're friends!” Kyungsoo’s indignation rises as Jongin continues his line of questioning.

Jongin quips, “But we're friends and we fuck too,” to which Kyungsoo heaves a sigh.

“And whose idea was that? It was yours, right? I'm not about to proposition Yixing hyung. We live together. That would be too awkward, don't you think? That don't eat where you shit kind of thing. Besides, hyung is dating someone,” Kyungsoo explains, calmer than he was a while ago.

“He's dating someone? I could have been fooled. You two were so fond of each other,” answers Jongin and it gets Kyungsoo riled up once again.

“Because, like I said, we're close. We live together. Why are you even asking me these things?” Kyungsoo snipes back, massaging his temples and Jongin takes it as a cue to let the topic go.

“I was just curious. Can I stay the night?” asks Jongin, as if it was perfectly normal to just drop topics and jump into new ones without any preamble.

“Is that just your lead up to getting me to bed?” Kyungsoo scoffs, but Jongin sees a small smile playing on his lips and Jongin knows they’re now on the same page.

“Well, I did say I wanted to Netflix and chill so is this even a surprise, hyung?” Jongin counters right back, sending Kyungsoo his puppy eyes.

“But it kinda feels domestic, having this schedule,” Kyungsoo muses.

“Do you like that? Does it tickle the planner in you?” Jongin teases Kyungsoo and even moves to tickle him.

“Stop teasing me! I actually think it’s nice. I don’t even have to look good and prepare to get laid,” Kyungsoo chuckles at that, looking down at his shirt and sweatpants combo.

“Of course, that’s the great thing about our arrangement, isn’t it?” says Jongin, as he sends a big smile towards Kyungsoo, walking backwards towards the other’s room.

***

**September 26, 2018, Wednesday  
8:27 PM**

**prr12  
** So I baked  
Feel free to come over and grab some

 **sheeeppp  
**Mayday mayday  
Kyungsoo didn’t just bake  
He baked a lot  
Brownies!  
Butterscotch!!  
Lemon bars!!!  
Revel bars!!!!  
It smells like a pastry shop in here  
Please come over

 **nini88  
** dat sounds like heaven  
or smells like heaven

 **baekbaekbaek  
**Oh no

 **hunnie  
** hyuuuuuuuung  
*hugs*

 **baekbaekbaek  
**OH NO

 **chanchanchan  
**Soo are you okay?

 **kjd21  
** ofc not  
he just outbaked that little coffee shop you go to

 **baekbaekbaek  
**Soo I wanna be there but I’m currently out on field work

 **chanchanchan  
**Me too

 **kjd21  
**I can’t drop by too

 **hunnie  
**hyuuuuuuuung im stuck in this group project im doing  
but ill drop by tom for bfast  
let me huuuuuuuug you in person

 **nini88  
**whats going on  
y is everyone in panic  
he just baked a lot lol

 **baekbaekbaek  
**Jongin you poor child  
Soo only bakes or cooks a lot when he’s stressed  
Or sad or mad

 **nini88  
** lucky for you hyung im free 2nite  
omw now

 **sheeeppp  
** Thanks jongin  
I’m already stuffed full with sugar

 

***

Kyungsoo and Yixing don’t even ask who’s on the other side of the door. They already know Jongin’s signature rhythmic knocks. Jongin expects Yixing to open the door but he’s greeted by Kyungsoo, “Hey, come in,” and he already knows that something is wrong with the older. His shoulders are all tense and his smile, that heart-shaped smile he’s so easy to give Jongin, is nowhere.

“Hey yourself, hyung. You even have flour on your nose,” Jongin teases Kyungsoo while removing his shoes and leaving them by the door.

Kyungsoo yells towards the kitchen, “Yixing hyung! I have flour on my nose all this time and you didn’t even tell me? You let me open the door looking like this?”

Jongin grins and follows the stomping Kyungsoo towards the kitchen. “It’s okay, hyung. It was cute,” stopping Kyungsoo for a bit to dust away the remaining flour on his face. Jongin has smelled the pastries from the door but he didn’t expect the table on their apartment to be overflowing with it.

“What Jongin said. You looked cute with it so I didn’t bother,” Yixing answers, followed by a chuckle as Kyungsoo sends him a glare.

“I’ll never cook for you again, hyung,” Kyungsoo threatens, to which Yixing just guffaws at.

“Threaten me something with bearing, Soo,” Yixing chuckles. “Hi, Jongin. I can’t move anymore, I already ate my weight in pastries. Please take some home of Kyungsoo’s baked goods too after you eat,” Yixing reminds him and Jongin nods, mouth already watering.

“Why are you giving them away as if you baked them, hyung?” Kyungsoo says in a monotone voice but Jongin still finds it cute because the other man is pouting.

“Because I know I’ll be the one tasked to eat the leftovers!” Yixing retorts, accent emerging with the indignation. “Anyway, I’ll retire to my room first, maybe nap, maybe work. You’re always here now, Jongin-ah. I’m glad Kyungsoo has a new friend,” Yixing says, as he pats Jongin’s back on the way to his room.

 

***

Like clockwork, Jongin being in Kyungsoo’s apartment equals sex. They were sure to be quiet, since Yixing is just in the other room. Jongin delights in teasing Kyungsoo, trying his best to make Kyungsoo moan loudly, enough to be heard outside the room. Kyungsoo, after coming down from his orgasmic high, hits Jongin hard and glares at him. Only for Jongin to laugh at him.

“I should ban you from our apartment, you know? You only go here to have sex!” Kyungsoo complains, already cleaning them up with a washcloth.

Jongin disagrees, “I do not! I came here for the brownies, I didn’t know sex was on the table,” but the mirth on his eyes is enough proof that he knew exactly what was on the table aside from the pastries.

“You put it on the table every time you come over. You’re like a sex deliveryman,” Kyungsoo huffs while he gets dressed.

“Or a fuckbuddy. That’s the term for that, hyung,” a smirk evident in Jongin’s tone, and even if Kyungsoo isn’t looking at him, he knows that smirk is there.

Dressed now and avoiding eye contact, Kyungsoo plays with a loose thread on his beddings. “Anyway, wanna thank you though. I’ve been upset and I thought I could bake my way out of it but honestly? I think sex was more effective.” Kyungsoo finally looks at Jongin and the younger can see both sadness and sincerity in the other’s owlish eyes. Jongin feels like they’ll be trudging new territory if they talk about whatever’s bugging Kyungsoo, a territory reserved for confidantes and best friends and boyfriends. They’ve been friends for a few months now but they’ve never really delved deeper into each other’s lives so far.

Jongin takes a deep breath as if preparing to say something long, but in the end he just ends up with, “Wanna talk about it, hyung?”

There’s silence as Kyungsoo looks into Jongin’s eyes and as if he found something in there, something trustworthy, understanding, and patient, Kyungsoo finally opens up.

“Well. I saw my ex a while ago and he already had someone new. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised since he cheated on me, he would have someone new right away,” Kyungsoo starts off slowly, gauging Jongin’s reaction. When Kyungsoo sees that Jongin is as receptive as ever, eyes bright and focused on him, he continues voicing out his frustrations. “And that wasn’t the reason I was upset. I got upset because he looked so happy and I’ve never seen him that happy with me. We dated for two years and this is the first time I’ve seen him that happy and just…” Kyungsoo heaves a big sigh and Jongin, sensing the distress the other is feeling, holds Kyungsoo’s hands between his and traces soothing circles on it. “What’s wrong with me, Jongin? Was I so lacking? I thought it was because I was bad at sex, that’s why he cheated on me. But now, I don’t even think it was about the sex. It was me. I was lacking,” Kyungsoo rushes out, as he removes his hands from Jongin’s hold and traps them under his thighs, probably to prevent any nervous tic from showing.

Jongin sees how Kyungsoo gets even smaller, curled up to make himself look as small as possible. All he wants to do is to hunt down Kyungsoo’s ex and give him a piece of his mind, but he’s sure Kyungsoo wouldn’t appreciate that. And who even is he to do that when he never knew the guy. Jongin decides that he couldn’t care less about Kyungsoo’s ex, the important thing to do is to comfort the person right beside him.

“Hyung, don’t think that. You’re not lacking. It was never right that he cheated on you. He cheated on you because he’s a dick and because he’s a cheater. It’s not your fault, hyung,” Jongin says softly, eyes trying to make contact with Kyungsoo’s, even if it means laying his head on Kyungsoo’s lap. While Kyungsoo is still not looking at him, the other offers him a hesitant smile, but a smile nonetheless and Jongin latches onto that thread.

“Do you want more cuddles? I’m a great cuddler, not just for aftersex you know,” Jongin offers, eyes trying to subject mirth into the situation.

“Do fuckbuddies snuggle for comfort?” Kyungsoo replies a few beats after, finally sharing eye contact with Jongin. The younger couldn’t help himself but relax, snuggling and wrapping his arms around Kyungsoo’s tummy.

“If not, then we can do this as friends. We’re friends, right?” Jongin asks and he tries really hard not to sound like the answer to the question means a lot to him but it does, it really does.

“Of course, we’re friends, Jongin, why is that even a question?” Kyungsoo chortles a little and he lets Jongin spoon him from the back. Jongin’s hands trace nonsensical words onto Kyungsoo’s stomach, above the other’s shirt, and Kyungsoo’s breathing evens out. His cheeks aren’t red anymore too from the distress he felt a while ago and Jongin is happy to have made his hyung relaxed.

“Thanks, Jongin. I don’t know if I can get over my insecurities right away but thank you for what you said,” Kyungsoo murmurs but Jongin hears it and slots his head onto Kyungsoo’s neck, rubbing himself like a puppy in there. Kyungsoo lets out a chuckle and they slowly, fall into slumber.

***

**September 27, 2018, Thursday  
8:18 AM**

Sehun drops by Kyungsoo’s for breakfast and leftover brownies as he promised, with Yixing opening the door for him. Just right in time, a freshly woken up Jongin, complete with bed hair and missing a shirt, exits Kyungsoo’s room and guns for the bathroom. Only for Sehun to audibly gasp and stop his friend right on his tracks. Jongin tries to open both of his eyes but it’s still too bright and he resorts to just squinting at his friend. Kyungsoo then exits the room, more presentable than the one before him, presumably to eat breakfast and have some coffee. He sees Sehun and a squinty Jongin right outside his room and panic strikes him as he looks at Jongin’s shirtless body and what it must look like to Sehun.

“Are you two together?” Sehun asks, voice deadpan, but surprise is etched onto his features.

Jongin looks to Kyungsoo and when he sees the older nod a little, he figures there’s no need to hide the truth. “Nah, we just have sex sometimes,” Jongin casually drops the information as if it was nothing, a trivia shared at eight in the morning.

Sehun then whips his head towards Yixing and exclaims, “And you didn’t care to tell us, Yixing hyung?”

To which Yixing just laughs at and answers, “It’s none of my business. I thought he just went here for the brownies. Then I heard what I’m sure was a sex playlist so I immediately put on my noise-cancelling headphones.” Yixing’s eyes are looking pointedly at Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo, in a sudden bold move, doesn’t look away, as if challenging Yixing to tease him. Yixing laughs and moves over to Kyungsoo to ruffle his hair, silent understanding between them.

_It’s no big deal, sorry I let Sehun in without warning you._

_It’s okay, hyung, they’ll know soon either way_.

The two dancers miss the silent conversation between the two, Sehun still interrogating Jongin. “You have a sex playlist, Jongin?” asks Sehun, tone laced with disbelief, as if the sex playlist is more surprising than the actual sex the mentor and the mentee have been having.

“It wasn’t mine!” Jongin huffs, finally awake enough to shove Sehun away from his personal space.

Sehun’s eyes become large as he faces Kyungsoo. “Kyungsoo hyung? It was yours?”

Kyungsoo’s ears are beet-red as he mumbles, “I’m gonna shower. I saved some of your favorite brownies, Sehun. They’re already packed separately inside the fridge.” Kyungsoo locks himself immediately inside the bathroom, escaping the awkward situation he was just in.

“Wait, hyung, I need to pee first!” Jongin raps on the bathroom door but the sound of the shower can already be heard.

“I’m curious though, what’s in hyung’s playlist?” Sehun snickers, asking Jongin as they both walk towards the kitchen.

“I’ll send it to you,” Jongin yells, enough to be heard inside the bathroom, just to chide Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo yells back, “Stop talking about my playlist!”

Sehun’s laugh rings inside the apartment as he finally gets a hold of his favorite brownies.

***

**October 10, 2018, Wednesday  
1:36 AM**

 

 **nini88  
**u up  
i need the soobooty^tm  
right now

 **prr12  
**Go to sleep you horny drunk

 **nini88  
**oh yay the soobooty is awake  
pls pls pls  
i can come over  
im actually omw

 **prr12  
**Good night  
I’m not gonna let you in  
Go home

 **nini88  
**too bad  
im already here  
knock knock  
hyung

 **prr12  
** What would you have done if I was already asleep?  
How can you go straight here and assume I was down?

 **nini88  
**i know ur always down ;)  
and i know the passcode  
id wake u up

 **prr12  
** If you know the passcode then open the door on your own  
I’m already in bed

 **nini88  
**right where i want u to beeeeee  
well the door is a nice place to fuck too  
lemme just drink a glass of water  
wait for me a bit

 

***

**October 17, 2018, Wednesday  
7:26 PM**

 

 **prr12  
**Come over

 **nini88  
**ooooohhh sounds lyk ur on top tonite

 **prr12  
**How very heteronormative of you  
I’m quite disappointed  
Just get here as soon as you can  
I also cooked a storm

**nini88**

oh no  
what happened?  
r u ok??  
did u see ur ex again?  
sorry i know its heteronormative  
but how do i say what i mean to say

 **prr12  
** Not in the mood to talk about it  
I just need to destress

 **nini88  
** i can help wit dat ;)  
im omw

 

***

**October 23, 2018, Tuesday  
8:56 PM**

 

 **nini88  
**hyung my body is sore

 **prr12  
** Erm, okay?  
Dance practice?

 **nini88  
**>_<

 **prr12  
**Go get a massage then

 **nini88  
**i want u to give me a massage

 **prr12  
** Go ask Sehun or any of your dancer friends  
I don’t know a thing about muscles

 **nini88  
**but u kno all about my body

 **prr12  
**Why are you so cringy??

 **nini88  
**pls hyung

 **prr12  
** I don’t think I’m going home tonight  
Find someone else

 **nini88  
**oh r u on a date

 **prr12  
**Well, you could say that

 **nini88  
**>_<

 **prr12  
**What

 **nini88  
**nothin my body just hurts  
but ill go get sehun  
have fun hyung  
get that ass  
or dick  
whatever

 **prr12  
** That I intend to do  
Feel better soon, Nini

 

***

**October 27, 2018, Saturday  
10:29 PM**

 

 **nini88  
**hyung  
open the door  
im outside  
do i really just use the passcode?  
hyung

 

***

**October 27, 2018, Saturday  
10:35 PM**

 

 **nini88  
**yixing hyung  
is kyungsoo hyung home  
are you home  
im knocking but no ones answering

 **sheeeppp  
**Oh yeah he is  
But he’s got a boy home

 **nini88  
**oh  
ok  
thanks hyung

 

***

**November 6, 2018, Tuesday  
6:38 PM**

 

“Jongin, wanna hang out tonight? I just submitted that darn sociology essay and I'm finally free after god knows how long," Sehun asks Jongin.

“Raincheck, Kyungsoo hyung and I are playing with his new toy tonight,” Jongin replies as he packs up before heading out of the library.

“First of all, I didn’t have to know that! I already know too much about your sex life. Second, uhm, friends with benefits don’t test sex toys together? Are you guys dating now?” Sehun nags and the last question riles Jongin up.

“Is there a fuckbuddy handbook because why aren’t we allowed to try out toys together? Like, isn’t that safer, trying out and finding kinks with someone who won’t judge you because they already judged you and thought you’re weird enough to be friends with? Rather than, you know, admitting it to a significant other who’d get shocked and will prolly leave you because you’re too kinky for their vanillaness?” Jongin retorts, catching his breath after that monologue.

“Why are you so pressed? I was just asking,” Sehun raises his eyebrow while shooting Jongin a pointed look. Jongin isn’t the type of person to argue and he really isn’t the type to speak more than two sentences at a time and both he and Sehun know it.

“I just have a lot of opinions on the efficacy and efficiency of the friends with benefits set-up. And just so you know, this time, we’re actually playing with an actual toy, not a sex toy. His new Hogwarts Lego set has arrived. Get your mind out of the gutter,” Jongin forces himself to chuckle to appear like he wasn’t close to anger a while ago as he prepares to leave his friend.

“This time?! So you've tested out sex toys together before?!" Sehun shockingly asks.

“Later, Sehun! Let's hang out soon!" Jongin teases his friend as he walks towards the doors of the university library.

Truth be told Jongin was convincing himself of the efficiency and efficacy of his mutually beneficial relationship with Kyungsoo. At first, he thought it was a great set-up. Kyungsoo was on the rebound, having his heart broken and trampled on, and he wants to have fun. Jongin is the epitome of no-strings-attached fun. Nothing could go wrong. _Nothing should have gone wrong_.

Then he found himself wanting to hang out with Kyungsoo more and more. They had way more things to talk about than he initially thought. And while Kyungsoo wasn’t an easy nut to crack, he enjoyed getting to know the other as the months passed by. He thought it was just the novelty of having a new friend, wanting to get to know someone. It was just a bonus that sometimes it leads to sex.

But lately, Jongin has realized that he has never slept with another person since he met Kyungsoo. When he wants to have sex, he goes to Kyungsoo and if Kyungsoo’s not free, he doesn’t even try finding someone else. Jongin didn’t mind it first, he could still logic himself out of it, thinking that he’s just too busy to put in the effort of finding someone else to have sex with.

Recently though, he’s panicking a bit, because he feels something he’d rather not name whenever Kyungsoo’s out with someone else. His mood dampens whenever Kyungsoo is having sex with a person that is not him. It doesn’t make sense. Unless… _Unless..._

He’s on his way to Kyungsoo’s flat when his phone pings with a flurry of notifications. He opens their group chat.

 

 **baekbaekbaek  
** Kyungie  
We haven’t hung out in so long  
Let’s go to the festival later  
Zico is performing  
I know you like him

 **prr12  
** I’m not the one who’s always out for field work  
Don’t blame me, Baek

 **chanchanchan  
** Baek just misses you Soo  
We just miss you  
You’re always with Jongin  
Jongin is taking you away from us

 **nini88  
** my evil plan has worked  
kyungsoo hyung is mine

 **kjd21  
** please soo let’s hang  
I miss you too

 **prr12  
** You don’t have an excuse Dae  
Every time I ask you to hang out with me  
You say no  
Don’t go sulking to me now

 **sheeeppp  
** Kyungsoo just knock on my door when we’re leaving  
I’m just finishing this bass line

 **prr12  
** Actually Jongin and I were gonna hang out tonight  
Jongin, what do you think?  
I do want to watch Zico though

 **nini88  
**ok hyung we can play some other time

 **chanchanchan  
**Play????

 **prr12  
** Chanyeol, I got my Hogwarts Lego set  
Come play with us next time

 **chanchanchan  
** You didn’t even invite me!  
Jongin really took you away from us

 **prr12  
** I didn’t know you were already back from field work  
I couldn’t wait

 **hunnie  
** yey ill go with yall  
jongin didnt wanna hang with me a while ago too  
and now we can all hang out!  
i heard winner is performing too  
maybe mino and zico would even perform okey dokey

 **prr12  
**Meet you all at the entrance?

 **baekbaekbaek  
**See you, Kyungie!

***

Jongin loves his friends, he does, but at the moment, he can’t stop himself from feeling irritated that they hijacked his time with Kyungsoo. And that feeling scares him because he knows he shouldn’t feel this way. He also hasn’t hung out with his friends in so long, his free time either spent in dance studios or with Kyungsoo. Watching Netflix with Kyungsoo, eating ice cream with Kyungsoo, watching plays with Kyungsoo.

Later, when they’re all gathered to watch their university’s festival, Jongin tries his best not to clock Kyungsoo’s reactions to every performer. He makes an effort to hang out with Baekhyun and Chanyeol, whom he hasn’t seen in a while, both of them always out in field works. And he succeeds, mostly. But he sometimes catches Kyungsoo looking at him too and he’s left confused as to why Kyungsoo immediately looks away as if caught. He should be the one looking away, he’s the one being caught looking at Kyungsoo.

Jongin enjoys the night, after all, Zico and Winner do know how to hype the crowd up. And he feels bad for not wanting to see his friends a while ago because he actually misses them. Baekhyun and Chanyeol and Jongdae and Sehun, even if he sees Sehun more than the other three. Jongin spent the night singing, dancing, jumping, and laughing with his friends. And with Kyungsoo.

 **  
** ***

**November 15, 2018 Thursday  
9:10 PM**

The semester is close to winding down and with it comes a ton of schoolwork. Jongin has a rare free day today though and of course, he finds himself looking for Kyungsoo to hang out with the other male. Kyungsoo informs him that he can’t spend time with Jongin today as he’s stuck studying in the library. But Jongin insists that he wants to spend time with the other so now he’s seated across Kyungsoo, watching the other study.

Kyungsoo keeps on checking Jongin, pressured to entertain the other but also stressed about his studies. Jongin reiterates that he’s fine, that he has nothing better to do, that Kyungsoo shouldn’t mind him and should focus on studying. Kyungsoo nods and tries to study again but the cycle just repeats, him worrying about Jongin.

Twenty minutes into waiting for Kyungsoo to finish, Kyungsoo nudges Jongin’s feet under the table. “Go home and rest, Jongin,” Kyungsoo says softly. “Please. I can’t study with you here too, you think you’re not distracting me but you are.”

“Why, hyung? Am I too pretty to look at?” Jongin teases but his heart is beating loudly as if chanting _say yes or yes or yes or yes_.

Kyungsoo actually reaches over the table and decks him for that, glare in place but a small smile also there, the telltale sign that Kyungsoo finds Jongin adorable. Baekhyun has been whining why Kyungsoo’s so soft and kind to Jongin when Kyungsoo’s all too ready to fight the other even for just speaking. _I’m hyung’s favorite_ , Jongin thinks and he smiles fondly at Kyungsoo.

“Hyung, just study, I’m really fine here. I like hanging out with you.” And Kyungsoo reciprocates the nudging Jongin’s doing to the older’s feet, until all they’re doing is swaying their feet together under the table.

“We’re not even hanging out, you’re just watching me study,” Kyungsoo retorts, amusement creeping on his face. _And that smile, that smile that’s always there for me_.

“I don’t mind, hyung. But can you cook me dinner later?” Jongin requests, puppy act in place.

If they weren’t in the library, Jongin would have cackled with glee when he sees how shocked Kyungsoo is to hear that the other hasn’t had dinner. “You haven’t had dinner? But it’s past 9PM now, Jongin. Why didn’t you eat before coming here?” Kyungsoo nags at Jongin and he can’t help but feel happy for the worry now etched on Kyungsoo’s face.

“I wanted to eat your cooking, hyung. But I’m in no rush, just go study,” Jongin replies, a smile on his face. But Kyungsoo has already started fixing his things to leave the library.

“No, we’re going home now. I’ll just stay by a coffee shop later to finish, let’s get some food on you first,” Kyungsoo says, as he stands up out of his seat and leads the way out of the library to cook Jongin a meal. Jongin feels a smile so big come on his face as the older walks in front of him.

 **  
** ***

**November 24, 2018, Saturday  
10:36 PM**

“Are you sure you’re okay enough to go home, Jongin? You can stay the night, I’ll take care of you,” Kyungsoo worriedly tells Jongin, who’s already wearing his shoes by the door preparing to leave.

“Yeah, hyung, I’m fine enough to walk back home. And Sehun’s there, it’s not as if I’ll be home alone if I need anything,” Jongin assures the other, movements quick, wanting to get out of Kyungsoo’s apartment as soon as possible without making it obvious.

“Call or text me when you’re home, okay? Rest well, I bet it’s because you haven’t been sleeping much even if you’re dead tired,” Kyungsoo chides but the worry in his eyes is evident and Jongin tries his best to ignore that, to not give meaning. _We’re friends, of course he’s concerned_.

“Bye, hyung. See you soon,” Jongin says and leaves Kyungsoo’s building.

 

***

Jongin trudges back to the room he shares with Sehun after leaving Kyungsoo’s apartment all too early. Sehun looks at his hunching figure by the door and knows something is up because Jongin usually looks like a happy puppy every time he comes back home from Kyungsoo’s apartment.

“You look like you failed a subject. What’s up?” Sehun inquires, patting the spot beside him by the sofa. Jongin dutifully walks towards Sehun and sits, letting the sofa swallow his back as he’s in the mood to wallow.

Jongin takes a deep breath and looks Sehun in the eye as he says, “Sehun, I think I like Kyungsoo hyung.”

Sehun immediately scoffs at that and quips, “You think? You know.”

“Shut up, Sehun, you’re not helping. The axis of my existence is all wrong now,” Jongin whines and curls up into a ball by the sofa.

“Oh, look at Mr. I Don’t Catch Feelings having an identity crisis,” Sehun smirks and has the audacity to laugh at Jongin.

“I need supportive Sehun now, okay. Stop sassing me,” Jongin mumbles and Sehun looks guilty for laughing at his friend’s situation.

“Okay, sorry. But I really find it funny though. Apparently only Kyungsoo hyung would get to you,” Sehun comments, patting Jongin’s back to soothe the other and help him let the words out. Sehun doesn’t need to pry the story out of Jongin because he knows Jongin would provide it so easily. _In 3… 2… 1…_

“I don’t even know when it started. At first I thought I just liked him as a friend, and the sex was just a bonus. But then I found myself getting jealous whenever he’s with someone else. Sehun, I’ve never felt jealous in my entire life. No one’s gotten under my skin like this before,” Jongin rants and Sehun keeps at rubbing circles on Jongin’s back, silently placating the other. Jongin finally sits up and faces Sehun as he continues sharing the realizations he’s had.

“We were hanging out a while ago and he wanted to have sex and you know what I did? I said no. Sehun, I said no to sex. I didn’t want to just mindlessly have sex with Kyungsoo hyung, Sehun. I want to have more,” and Jongin has been thinking this for some time now but finally saying it out loud, telling another person of the secret he keeps, Jongin feels like the words are now true. Now that the universe has heard his confession, he couldn’t deny it anymore. _I like Kyungsoo hyung_.

Sehun, for the first time, is at a loss for words. He had an inkling that Jongin likes Kyungsoo, but not just how deep into it Jongin already is. The Jongin he’s seeing looks like he’s been conflicted for a while now. “Jongin, this is all very new to me, okay. You with feelings. But don’t you think you shouldn’t be telling this to me but to Kyungsoo hyung instead?” Sehun asks the other, voice full of wisdom and sense.

“That’s the thing, Sehun. He doesn’t see me that way.” Jongin, once again, curls into a ball and even kicks his feet in the air. The man who used to not get attached is now acting like a kid having tantrums for not getting what he wants.

Sehun decides to lay it out slowly with Jongin. Jongin seems to have gotten inside his head that Kyungsoo doesn’t like him that way. He’s not entirely sure if Kyungsoo likes Jongin that way but he could definitely see how Kyungsoo treats Jongin differently than the rest of them. Kyungsoo’s soft with Jongin, whereas he hits Baekhyun and Chanyeol all the time. He might not be sure but he has an inkling that Jongin’s feelings aren’t as one-sided as he’d like to think. “How would you know that, Jongin?” Sehun genuinely asks.

“Because he’s still not over his ex yet,” Jongin mumbles, wallowing in his self-pity party by the couch.

“And if he’s not over his ex yet, can’t he like another person at the same time?” And with this, Jongin sits upright once again.

“But he’s still having sex with other people!” Jongin exclaims, tone indignant at first but it turns sad so quickly.

“Which you taught him to do to get over his ex? So why are you taking that against him?” Sehun answers back. Jongin keeps mum for a while, as if mulling over what Sehun just said, until he heaves a heavy sigh.

“What if he rejects me, Sehun? I’m not ready to get my heart broken,” Jongin changes track, to the more important one. Jongin’s voice was so soft, so small, so unsure, that Sehun wants to protect his friend from possible heartbreak. But Sehun also knows that the only way forward is for Jongin to confess his feelings to Kyungsoo and see where it goes.

“Your heart's already breaking right now, Jongin. Just tell him how you feel, okay?” Sehun advises and Jongin answers with a huff and leaves the living room to maybe go wallow again inside his room.

 **  
** ***

**December 1, 2018, Saturday  
8:46 PM**

 

Like most nights he’s free, Jongin finds himself knocking on Kyungsoo’s apartment door to hangout. Unlike most nights, he’s actually drunkenly knocking on Kyungsoo’s apartment door. To hangout or to have sex, he doesn’t even know anymore. All Jongin knows is that he wants to see Kyungsoo day in and day out.

Jongin usually knocks to be let in but today, he's drunk enough to just barge in by entering the passcode to Kyungsoo's apartment. He toes off his boots, arms trying to gain purchase on the walls to steady himself. Kyungsoo’s apartment is more than familiar to Jongin and he immediately guns for Kyungsoo’s room, ready to spend the night with the other. He walks towards Kyungsoo’s room and mindlessly opens the door.

Kyungsoo jumps up with the sound of the door opening and looks towards the intruder, ready to tell of Yixing for not knocking, when he sees that it’s a shocked drunk Jongin staring at the scene in front of him. “Jongin, hey, what are you doing here?” Kyungsoo asks as he stands up and approaches the other, sending a sorry look towards the other male in the room.

Jongin shouldn’t have been surprised to see Kyungsoo making out with someone. Heck, he should be thankful that he didn’t catch them having sex. But amidst the haze that is his drunkenness, he can feel painful stabs at his heart ever since he walked in on Kyungsoo and his date. _Or his fuck, whoever this is._ He knows Kyungsoo has asked him a question but all he can do is look at the situation he’s in, the situation he’s put himself in, and wonder why did he ever catch feelings. He wants to be the better man, say sorry and leave, laugh it off. But tonight, the pain of his unrequited love — _Is this love?_ — for Kyungsoo is making itself known, is rearing its ugly head. Jongin is drunk and drunk people are needy so the first thing that leaves his mouth is, “Can we hang out, Kyungsoo?”

Kyungsoo, ever patient with Jongin, doesn’t even roll his eyes. “Jongin, I’m in the middle of something. I already have a guest. Let’s hang out some other time,” Kyungsoo explains gently, and Jongin hears Kyungsoo’s _guest_ cough a bit, as if saying _get a clue_.

“Why should I leave, I’m already here,” Jongin answers back to Kyungsoo and directing his gaze at the stranger in the room for the first time, Jongin snaps, “Who are you anyway?”

The stranger gets riled up at that and Kyungsoo mends the situation by sitting down and explaining Jongin’s behavior. “Don’t get mad, he’s just drunk. He’s my friend,” Kyungsoo’s voice tries so hard to keep calm but Jongin could hear it starting to express distress.

“I’m not drunk, hyung. And I still won’t leave,” Jongin whines, moving towards the bed and laying down on it without a care in the world.

“You know what, Kyungsoo, you told me this was going to be uncomplicated but this? Right here? This is complicated. He looks like he wants to murder me. I’m out of here. Text me if you’re still down some other time,” and with this proclamation, Jongin grins triumphant, as the other guy leaves and he can now finally have Kyungsoo’s time for himself.

“Sorry, Minseok, I’ll deal with this first. I’ll text you,” Kyungsoo tells the other as he kisses him goodbye. Kyungsoo then stands by the bed and gone was Kyungsoo’s gentleness as he’s all glares now.

“What was that, Jongin?” Kyungsoo asks, voice low and icy.

“Hyung, I just want to spend time with you. Were you gonna have sex with that guy? Don’t worry, let’s just have sex if that’s what you want,” Jongin replies and he wills Kyungsoo to believe that it’s the alcohol that’s talking and not just himself, his real self.

“So you came barging in here, forcing my guest to leave, for sex? Don’t you have other people to have sex with?” Kyungsoo, voice rising, is all ice and Jongin has never felt colder and sadder than he is right now.

“But I want you, hyung,” Jongin answers, pout in place.

“Where are your other fuck buddies? Don’t tell me I’m the only one available right now? Because I don’t believe that for a second, Jongin,” Kyungsoo huffs and sits down on the bed finally.

“No, hyung, I don’t want anyone else, I just want you,” Jongin answers sincerely, and this time, Jongin knows that he’s saying it thanks to the alcohol but he really _really_ means it.

A veil of silence envelops the two as Kyungsoo searches for something in Jongin’s eyes, something Jongin doesn’t know what. But Kyungsoo seems to find it and stands up and moves away from Jongin. “What do you mean by that?”

“What I said, hyung. I want you,” Jongin answers and he tries his best to clear the haze from the alcohol and just be himself, just be honest for once about his feelings.

“You mean, you want to have sex with me?” Kyungsoo questions, pitch getting higher.

“Yes, of course. But more importantly, I… like you, hyung. I want you, I like you, I may probably love you but let’s not scare you off completely for now,” says Jongin, chuckling a little at the end, trying to make light of the situation.

“You’re just drunk, Jongin,” Kyungsoo counters.

“I might be drunk, hyung, but I’ve been feeling this way for some time now. I was scared to tell you because I’m sure it isn’t reciprocated but I needed you to know,” Jongin confidently confesses to Kyungsoo, keeping their eyes in contact all throughout.

“Because maybe, just maybe, you feel the same way too? I’ve already dived deep. Will you come in after me?” Jongin sincerely asks, hope shining in his eyes and his voice.

“But you told me you don’t do feelings, Jongin. You told me not to like you,” Kyungsoo fires back.

“Yes, I did. And now I’m telling you I like you, hyung. I really really like you,” Jongin, eyes suddenly clear and bright, saying the words he’s been feeling all these weeks ago. With the confession comes release and he feels relieved, but that relief comes crashing down when Kyungsoo breaks eye contact and makes him stand up out of bed.

“Hyung, wait, don’t make me leave just yet. You don’t have to say anything. I know I’m selfish for springing this up on you but please listen to me. I’m not playing with you. I haven’t slept with anyone else since you and honestly, I haven’t thought of anyone else, since you. Hyung, I’m serious, I really like you,” Jongin’s voice desperate, desperate to be heard, desperate to hear back the same words.

“Jongin, you’re drunk and you need to go home and maybe we shouldn’t see each other from now on,” Kyungsoo mumbles, practically dragging Jongin out of his room and towards the apartment’s door.

“Huh, hyung, wait, you don’t need to say it back. I’m sorry for confessing, I, don’t cut me out of your life, hyung, wait, hyung!” Jongin yells, no care in the world if others would hear. He’s now outside Kyungsoo’s apartment, shoes thrown away towards him haphazardly.

  
***

 

**December 2, 2018, Sunday  
11:46 AM**

 

 **nini88  
** hyung sorry  
u dont hv to answer my calls  
just reply to me?

 

***

**December 3, 2018, Monday  
8:20 PM**

 

 **nini88  
** hyung  
i havent had dinner  
can i come over

 

***

**December 4, 2018, Tuesday  
1:56 PM**

 

 **nini88  
** hyung  
im rly sorry

***

**December 5, 2018, Wednesday  
3:18 PM**

 

 **nini88  
**hyung  
i know ur reading my msgs

***

**December 6, 2018, Thursday  
11:56 PM**

 

 **nini88  
**hyung  
y did u stop reading my msgs

***

**December 7, 2018, Tuesday  
3:09 AM**

 

 **nini88  
**hyung  
i miss u  
i rly rly do

***

**December 8, 2018, Friday  
9:14 PM**

 

 **nini88  
**hyung  
did u rly not come to my recital today

***

**December 9, 2018, Saturday  
1:06 AM**

 

 **nini88  
**hyung  
ur rly mean  
u know dat?

 

***

**December 24, 2018, Friday  
11:26 PM**

 

Jongin feels a sick sense of déjà vu, knocking at this time on Kyungsoo and Yixing’s apartment door. The door’s opened by Sehun like his first time in here and just like months ago, a party is in swing. He debated over going to this Christmas party but Sehun told him that he’s the one who organized the party and that it’s just being held in Kyungsoo and Yixing’s apartment. So of course Jongin had come, because Sehun said so. And because Jongin has finally started being honest about his feelings, he came to the party to see Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo has never replied to his messages and has never answered his calls. He supposes he should be angry because he deserves at least an explanation from why he’s suddenly cut off his friend’s life. But it’s Kyungsoo and he knows that he’s not an asshole. That there’s a reason they’re still estranged. Jongin plans to talk to Kyungsoo tonight, just to say sorry and try his luck to convince Kyungsoo that he doesn’t need anything but their friendship.

Jongin walks towards the kitchen and sees a lone serving of lasagna on the table and chuckles to himself. _It’s as if it was left just for me_. Sehun passes by him on his way to get a drink and says, “Kyungsoo hyung left that for you. He said he’d cut us up if we ate it.”

Jongin’s head whips towards Sehun as fast as he could. “Did he? Where is he, by the way?”

“He should be in his room, he has a headache, actually,” Sehun informs him with a tilt of his head and a quirk of an eyebrow. Jongin knows what that means and he hastily leaves to go knock on Kyungsoo’s door.

“What is it now?” Kyungsoo’s muffled voice can be heard by the door.

“Hyung, it’s Jongin. Can I talk to you?” Jongin hopefully asks and the room stays quiet until footsteps can be heard and the door finally opens.

“Okay,” Kyungsoo finally says and lets him in. Kyungsoo gestures for Jongin to sit by the bed and Jongin dutifully complies, keeping distance between the two.

Jongin takes a deep breath, ready to start his monologue, when Kyungsoo utters, “Sorry, Jongin.”

“Huh, for what?” Jongin, perplexed, asks.

“For a thousand of things. For not replying to you. For not answering your calls. For being cold and silent for almost a month. For not feeding you when you were hungry. For avoiding you. For not congratulating you on your recital for doing so well. For chrissakes, throwing your shoes out the door, not even letting you wear them before I tossed you out. I’m so sorry,” Kyungsoo says, eyes red from tears unshed and voice pitchy.

“Hyung, wait, I was the one who’s supposed to say sorry here,” Jongin scratches his head while looking lost.

“But you did nothing wrong, Jongin. I was the temperamental and rude one who can’t deal with a confession,” Kyungsoo moves close to Jongin, as if the distance between them prevents Jongin from accepting what he’s saying.

“No, hyung, I was the one in the wrong. I told you I don’t catch feelings and I even told you not to fall in love with me and then I accost you with my unwanted feelings. Sorry, hyung, and I’m here to say that all I need is your friendship and company, nothing more that you can’t give,” and Jongin promised himself he wouldn’t cry but tears have escaped from his eyes as he was finally talking to Kyungsoo.

Jongin was going to continue to explain but Kyungsoo halts whatever was about to come out of his mouth when he says, “I don’t want your friendship, Jongin.”

With the hurt and surprise etched in Jongin’s face, Kyungsoo backtracks. “That came out wrong. I mean, I don’t want us just to be friends. I… actually like you too, Jongin. For a while now.”

The surprise in Jongin’s face doesn’t leave but the hurt is replaced by the utterance of a single syllable. “Oh.”

“I’ve been trying to preemptively get over you by the way I only know how and the way you taught me, sex. So when you told me you liked me, I got mad because I wasn’t even enjoying having sex with other people. I got mad because I thought you’ll never like me so I’ve been working so hard to move on from my feelings for you. I got mad because all this time you liked me too and we wasted time. I know it doesn't make sense and I honestly can't explain still why I ended up upset that night when I should have been happy to hear that you like me,” Kyungsoo explains, hands wringing each other, still afraid of what Jongin would think of him.

Jongin still hasn’t uttered anything except for another “oh”.

“And then when I realized that I should have been happy that we actually liked each other, I was afraid that you were mad at me after I tossed you out. And I figured you would have stopped liking me now that you’ve seen just how mean I could be, cutting you off like that. Then I convinced myself that you were deliriously drunk that time so you were saying nonsense because who am I for you to fall for? I'm nobody. I seriously thought you’d never want to see me again and that you won’t come to this party,” Kyungsoo continues, gauging Jongin’s reactions. “Please say something aside from “oh”, Jongin,” Kyungsoo begs.

“Sorry, hyung, I’m just in shock. But first of all, you’re so stupid! How can you let a month pass making us both suffer?” Jongin sounds mad but there’s a smile in his eyes and soon enough, a smile forms on his lips too. Kyungsoo heaves a big sigh of relief at that and moves to hug Jongin. "And hyung, it's too damn cheesy to say that you're my everything but that's pretty close to how I feel about you on the daily. That I could drop anything to go and see you if you just ask me and tell me where you are. That "

“I’m really sorry, I know, I’m stupid. This is why I needed you, my Yoda, right?” Kyungsoo’s words are muffled by Jongin’s shoulder, where Kyungsoo’s resting his head. “Can we stay like this? My headache is killing me, honestly,” Kyungsoo asks.

“But hyung, I’m hungry. Let me eat that lasagna you left for me. Come to the kitchen with me,” Jongin convinces the other and Kyungsoo would definitely say yes to any of Jongin’s requests from now on, in return of being so easily forgiven.

“Wait, Jongin. Uhm, so are we dating now?” Kyungsoo tentatively asks, because he needs to hear it officially. The clock strikes midnight, sounding ominous in Kyungsoo's ears.

“Isn’t that obvious, though?” Jongin teases the other.

“Jongin, please. For my peace of mind?” Kyungsoo practically begs the other. Jongin wants to patronize the other, but seeing Kyungsoo's face stops him from doing so. He remembers how Kyungsoo's previous break-up piled insecurities upon insecurities on the other and all he wants to do now is to placate the other, to tell him that he's enough, more than enough, and deserving to be loved.

Jongin opens the door of the room and answers back, eyes crinkling and sporting a wide smile, “We’re dating now, hyung.”

 

***

**December 25, 2018  
12:03 AM**

 

“KISS!” Sehun shouts.

“Kiss, you fools!” Baekhyun shouts towards Jongin and Kyungsoo exiting Kyungsoo’s room while Chanyeol holds a mistletoe by the doorway.

“There’s a mistletoe above you, now go kiss and make up because we’re tired of your mopey asses,” Jongdae whines.

Kyungsoo glares at his friends but Jongin just laughs at them, mirth in his eyes as he swings Kyungsoo in a dip and kisses him in front of their friends. The kiss was slow and sweet, both of them getting into it, when hoots and hollers enter Kyungsoo's consciousness and he realizes that they weren't alone. Kyungsoo’s ears turn red in embarrassment, pushing Jongin off of him right away.

“You just witnessed our first kiss, everyone,” Jongin addresses the room as if announcing a royal proclamation.

“What do you mean first?” Yixing asks, utterly confused of the two.

“The first since we started dating,” Jongin announces, holding Kyungsoo’s hand to show what he means.

“Whatever, you two have been dating since August, you just didn’t know it,” Sehun scoffs.

A boisterous cacophony of laughter echoes into the night as Kyungsoo and Jongin smile at each other under the mistletoe with the company of their friends.

**Author's Note:**

> If you’ve reached this part, thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Dear prompter, I hope this is okay. I'm new to writing fics but I hope this isn’t too bad.
> 
> To the mods, especially Burger Mod and their supportive and kind emails, thank you so much! I really enjoyed writing this fic and that’s partly because I was enjoying this fest.
> 
> Thank you to my friend C who listened to me ramble about this fic for monthssss. You’re the absolute best.
> 
> If *you* enjoyed the fic, I would really appreciate if you’d leave a comment~
> 
> Comments are very much welcome. You can also find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/_dldld) and [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/_dldld)!
> 
> *Actual fic-related notes*
> 
> 1\. Here’s the aforementioned [Kyungsoo’s sex playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/whoopeeyoo/playlist/6aLmZLyitdC2T5N7cuSV6M?si=3fP5KwAhQ7yTgBtA0958cg).  
> 2\. Baduk is a Korean board game, also known as go.  
> 3\. Haemultang is assorted seafood soup~


End file.
